Welcome, Brian.

 

Seeing you find your way here, I am already sure you are the one meant for this quest. My doubts have vanished.

 

 

You must have so many questions. Let me explain… I am the game-master. I have come to you in dire need of a hero. A hero who’s heart is pure…or at least pretty pure... and who’s mind is sharp.

    A terrible evil has been awakened in the greater Orlando area, and we must stop it before it grows any stronger. This evil seems to have its sights set on you…which is why I believe you’re the right person to defeat it once and for all. Why else would it come for you if you were not a threat? This great evil is known as: The bitchassery monster. And it has arrived.

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But there’s hope.                                 There is a prophecy that speaks of four artifacts known together                           as “the song of                                    ponderance”. No one knows what these artifacts are, but when                          they are brought                                 to the monster’s lair, and somehow used correctly, I believe it will                       vanquish our foe                                forever! I have already collected the 4 artifacts, each kept in its                             own magical chest.                           They were scattered across the Fantasyverse…the lands of Middle Earth, Camelot,The Mighty                        Nein…

     

 

But there’s been a slight complication. there are locks from the Kingdom Hearts universe on all of the chests.

 

 

 

 

We must find the magic keys that unlock these chests!! These keys are scattered across the NERD-multiverse, a place a fantasy-based-lifeform like myself cannot go. It is far too dangerous for one of my kind. Only a true nerd can brave the trials ahead. Only a true nerd can save us all.

    I know this is a lot to process, but in the end your job is quite simple: I have chosen you, Brian, to go on a journey to collect these 4 keys across the nerd-verse so we may open the chests and access the artifacts. We will then bring the items to this Monster’s lair, and somehow use them to save all of Orlando. 

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  So! Let us begin. The first world I’m sending you to is the world of Zelda. Here in Hyrule, you must defeat Ganon by assembling the triforce.                                                   Once defeated he will drop his epic loot: our first key. 

    The pieces of the                                                        triforce are being held by the shopkeeper Ferdinand in Kokiri village. But the                                                                bitchassery monster has corrupted him! He has become far too focused on his                                                          career and making money and no longer focuses on the joy of providing for his town.                                                     He will only give you the triforce pieces if you buy them with rupees. It seems to me the only possible solution is to earn enough rupees to buy them all and assemble the triforce. 

 

 

 

With my last bit of strength, I have scattered puzzles, games, quests, riddles, hidden pages,

and more across the entire multiverse. These “side quests” will help you get enough rupees,

or XP, or whatever the currency of the nerdrealm you’re in might be. So be ready to think and

explore! 

 

And this is where your adventure begins!